Finding time for yourself after a busy working day has become one of the most important lessons I’ve learned since starting my employment journey. There’s something about coming home after a long day, closing my bedroom door and finally having a moment where nobody needs anything from me. No conversations to keep up with, no questions to answer and no responsibilities that need my immediate attention. Just me, my own space and usually some music playing in the background.
It’s a part of my day that I’ve grown to appreciate more than I ever thought I would.
I’ve always been somebody who enjoys having time to myself. Even before I became employed, I loved spending time in my room, listening to music, enjoying my hobbies and doing things at my own pace. I’ve never needed to have something happening every minute of the day to feel content. Sometimes, having absolutely nothing planned is exactly what I want.
But over the past few months, I’ve started to notice how much more those quiet moments mean to me, especially now that so much of my day is spent surrounded by people, conversations and responsibilities.
It’s not that I dislike being social. I genuinely enjoy working alongside other people and being part of a team. But what I’ve come to understand about myself is that enjoying something doesn’t necessarily mean it won’t take energy out of you.
And sometimes, by the time I get home, I’ve simply run out of words.
When Being Social Takes More Than You Realise
Something I’ve noticed since becoming employed is just how much communication happens throughout an ordinary working day. Before I started working, I don’t think I fully understood how much energy could go towards simply talking, listening and being around other people.
It’s not always about having long conversations, either. Sometimes it’s answering a quick question, listening to somebody explain something, concentrating on what someone is saying or switching your attention between different conversations happening around you. Individually, those moments might not seem like much, but when they happen throughout an entire day, they begin to add up.
There are days when I feel like I’ve spent so much time communicating that by the time I get home, I don’t particularly want to speak anymore. I can become non-verbal, not because something has necessarily happened or because I’m upset, but because I’ve reached the point where I’ve had enough social interaction for one day.
And I’m completely fine with that.
I think sometimes people misunderstand the need for quiet. When somebody comes home and goes straight to their room, it might look like they’re being distant or uninterested in spending time with others. But for me, it’s simply a way of allowing myself to settle after spending so much of my day interacting with people.
I don’t always need another conversation about how my day went. Sometimes I just want to put my music on, get comfortable and enjoy not having to respond to anything for a while.
I’ve also realised there’s a difference between being physically tired and being mentally tired. You can spend most of your day sitting at a desk and still come home feeling completely exhausted. Your body might not have been doing anything particularly demanding, but your mind has been concentrating, processing information and communicating throughout the day.
For me, music has always been one of the things I enjoy turning to when I want time to myself. There’s something comforting about being able to choose what I listen to, sit in my own space and let the rest of the day fade into the background.
I don’t need to make that time productive. Sometimes, listening to music and doing nothing else is enough. Finding time for yourself after a socially demanding day can make those quiet moments feel even more valuable.
I Used to Think There Was All the Time in the World
Before I became employed, I genuinely loved having so much time to myself. I had the freedom to organise my days however I wanted, whether that meant being productive, enjoying my hobbies or simply having a day where I didn’t need to do much at all.
I could work around my own routine without having to think about travelling somewhere, completing tasks within working hours or preparing myself for the following day. If I wanted to spend longer doing something, I could. If I wanted to move something to another day, there usually wasn’t much stopping me.
And I loved that freedom.
I know unemployment is often spoken about as something entirely negative, and I understand why. There are challenges that come with not having a job, particularly when you’re trying to find opportunities and work out what you want to do next. But that doesn’t mean there weren’t parts of that chapter of my life that I genuinely enjoyed.
Having control over my own time was one of them.
Something Bradley often says at work is, “There’s not enough hours in a day.” And before I started working, I probably would’ve disagreed with him. I would’ve thought there was plenty of time in the world to get things done, because that’s what I was used to.
But now, after experiencing days where I’ve had so much to complete and not enough time to get through everything, I finally understand what he means.
There have been days when I’ve planned to finish something, only for other tasks, conversations or unexpected situations to take up the time I’d set aside. Before I know it, the working day is coming to an end, and something I thought I’d easily finish has to wait until another day.
And it isn’t just the working day itself. There’s the time spent getting ready in the morning, travelling into work, travelling home again, eating, showering and preparing for the following day. All those little things take up time, even when you don’t necessarily think about them.
It’s strange how much your perspective can change when your circumstances do. I used to think having time meant having the freedom to do whatever I wanted with it. Now I’m learning that time is something I need to make room for, whether that’s completing my responsibilities, getting enough sleep or spending an evening doing absolutely nothing.
And perhaps that’s why the quiet moments have started meaning so much more to me. I still enjoy the same things I did before becoming employed, but now I appreciate having the opportunity to enjoy them. Finding time for yourself becomes more important when your daily routine is filled with work, responsibilities and commitments.
The Difference Between a Work Night and a Weekend
One thing I’ve become particularly aware of is how differently I spend my evenings depending on whether I’m working the following day.
On a work night, my main priority is allowing myself to de-stress as much as possible. I want to get comfortable, relax my mind and make sure I’m getting enough sleep before waking up and doing everything again.
Sleep has always been something I’ve cared about. Even before I started working, I understood how important it was for me to feel properly rested. But now that I have a routine involving getting ready, travelling and spending the day around other people, I’ve become even more protective of it.
So my work evenings aren’t usually about trying to fit as many activities as possible into the few hours I have left. They’re about making sure I feel comfortable and ready for the following day.
But when the weekend arrives, something changes.
There’s a different feeling that comes with knowing I don’t have to wake up the following morning and immediately start preparing for work. I don’t have to think about getting ready at a certain time or making sure I leave the house early enough to catch my transport.
I can slow everything down.
During the working week, my evenings often feel like a chance to recover. But on the weekend, I can take my time without constantly thinking about the next morning. I can wake up without feeling rushed, spend longer doing something I enjoy or simply have a slower day because that’s what I feel like doing.
And after a week of following schedules and working around other people’s time, being able to follow my own again feels really nice. Finding time for yourself during weekends gives you the freedom to slow down and enjoy activities at your own pace.
Self-Care Saturdays
Something I’ve made part of my routine is what I like to call my Self-Care Saturdays.
It’s a day where I make a conscious effort to look after myself, whether that’s doing my nails, having an everything shower or simply taking a little extra time doing things that make me feel good.
They’re not necessarily big activities, and I don’t need to spend lots of money or organise something special for the day to feel worthwhile.
Sometimes it’s just the little things.
Throughout the week, so much of my time has a purpose attached to it. I get ready because I need to leave for work. I go to sleep because I need enough rest for the following day. I organise things because I need to make sure everything is prepared.
But on a Saturday, I can do something simply because I want to.
Self-care doesn’t have to look the same for everybody. For some people, it might mean going out, meeting friends or spending time doing something exciting. For others, it might mean staying home, having a quiet day and enjoying their own company.
For me, it’s about having the freedom to slow down and give myself a little attention after spending so much of the week focused on everything happening around me.
I’ve also realised that looking after myself doesn’t always mean doing something. Sometimes it means recognising when I don’t have the energy for anything in particular and allowing myself to rest without feeling like I’ve wasted the day.
Because a day doesn’t have to be full of achievements to be a good day. Finding time for yourself through simple self-care activities reminds me that rest and personal happiness matter just as much as productivity.
Mondays Have Become My Little Reset
My working week begins on Tuesday, which means Mondays have become a completely different kind of day for me.
While Saturdays are about slowing down and enjoying myself, Mondays are usually when I start getting things organised for the week ahead.
I’ll put my washing on, clean my room if it needs doing and make sure the little things around me are sorted before I return to work. And one thing I always make time for is preparing my lunches for the working week.
There’s something satisfying about knowing I’ve already taken care of things that would otherwise need my attention later in the week. Preparing my lunches means I don’t have to worry about sorting something out every morning or thinking about what I’m going to eat during my working day.
It’s one less thing to think about.
And I think that’s something I’ve learnt about myself over time. I enjoy having freedom with my time, but I also appreciate having a routine that helps me feel organised.
Those two things might sound like opposites, but for me, they work together.
Having a productive Monday doesn’t mean I’m giving up my last day away from work. It means I’m using part of that day to make the rest of my week a little easier.
I think that’s one of the biggest differences between my routine before employment and the one I have today. Before, I could organise things whenever I felt like doing them. Now, I tend to think a little further ahead because I know there will be days when I won’t have the same amount of time or energy available.
It doesn’t mean my life has become completely planned out or that every minute needs a purpose. It just means I’ve learnt that a little preparation can give me more freedom later.
Keeping the Parts of Myself I Enjoy
Something I didn’t want to happen when I became employed was losing the things I enjoyed doing before I started working.
When your routine changes so significantly, it can sometimes feel like your whole life has to change alongside it. Suddenly, you have different responsibilities, different priorities and less freedom to decide how every day is going to look.
But I don’t think moving into a new chapter of your life means you have to leave everything from the previous one behind.
There were things about my life before employment that made me happy, and I still want those things to have a place in my life now.
I still love having time to myself. I still enjoy listening to music, spending time in my room, taking care of myself and having days where I don’t feel the need to do anything particularly exciting.
Those things haven’t become less important just because I’m working. If anything, they’ve become more important.
I think we sometimes put a lot of emphasis on becoming a different person when our circumstances change. We talk about growing up, becoming more responsible, developing new habits and learning how to manage adult life.
And while those things are important, I don’t think personal growth always has to mean changing everything about yourself.
Sometimes it means learning how to make space for the person you already are within the life you’re building.
For me, that’s meant understanding that I can enjoy being part of a busy workplace while still needing quiet when I get home. I can appreciate having responsibilities while still loving the freedom of an unplanned day. And I can be proud of how much my life has changed while still missing certain parts of the routine I had before.
I don’t think those feelings contradict each other. They’re simply different parts of my experience. Finding time for yourself allows you to maintain the interests, routines and personal experiences that make you feel comfortable and happy.
Finding Time for Yourself: Learning That My Time Matters Too
If there’s one thing these past few months have taught me, it’s that time isn’t something I want to take for granted anymore.
Not because every hour needs to be productive or because I should constantly be thinking about what I could achieve next, but because I’ve started to understand how quickly the days can pass when you have so many different things to fit into them.
I’ve also started to understand that my time doesn’t always need to belong to somebody else.
Sometimes looking after myself means getting an early night. Sometimes it’s spending a Saturday doing my nails and taking my time with an everything shower. Sometimes it’s having a productive Monday so I feel more prepared for the days ahead.
And sometimes it’s simply closing my bedroom door and listening to music without having to say another word.
When I think back to the freedom I had before becoming employed, I don’t look at it as time that was wasted. I look at it as a chapter where I learnt what I enjoyed, how I liked to spend my days and how much having my own routine meant to me.
And now I’m learning how to carry those things into a completely different chapter.
I used to have what felt like all the time in the world. Now I’m learning how to make the most of the time I have.
The quiet after a day full of noise isn’t just about escaping conversations or recovering from a busy day. It’s about returning to a part of my life that belongs entirely to me, where I can slow down, enjoy my own company and remember that I don’t always have to be doing something to make my time worthwhile.
Because after spending so much of the day listening to everything happening around me, sometimes the nicest thing I can do is give myself the chance to enjoy a little quiet.
And I’ve learnt that those moments deserve just as much space in my life as everything else.
“I don’t have all the answers, but I’ve got experiences worth sharing and a story that’s still being written.”
— Macey Hutchins